Strong Sometimes Means Crying

Today was my big race.  The race that I had been running for all summer.  Every other day, every week.   I was so excited for this race, I couldn't see straight. 
A half mile into the first mile, my achilles tendon began to get sore. 
WHAT?? 
I had a sore tendon on my other side!  Sore became excruciating by the end of that first mile.  I hobbled.  I sorta hopped on one leg.  I walked like John Wayne. 

And I cried.  I cried 'cause I hurt.  I cried because I could run this!  My lungs felt great!  My legs felt great.  My tendons just burned like acid. 

It's awful to say this, but I tell you what, that last six blocks, if one more person told me "You're doing great", I was going to hitch my way over there and smack them. 
Hard.

I crossed that line and begged for ice. 

I'm still in ice. 

But, I made it.  And I'm determined to run that same route with normal tendons and THAT will be my time!

Good Morning!!

It's a great day!  (I'm annoying, I know)  I got up, thanks to the kitties!, and fed the dogs, the cats, and the kids.  Snuck a run in there - just a short one 'cause I've got a race this weekend.  But, it felt great to run with no pain and be moving!!  :)
I took the night off yesterday, just wanted to be with my kids for a little bit.  Plus, I got a creative bug and figured out how to make a few things that I've been looking at (the real word here is 'coveting') online.  Once I figured out what they were, I was in like flynn. 


A funny thing happened yesterday.  A few days ago, I received a wonderful package in the mail from Jeanne over at The Candy Corn Chronicles! I had won a great book, a bag of catnip and a beautiful quartz crystal!  I love them all - not as much, however, as Tigger.  (The marmalade Manx) Tig broke into my bedroom and found the "stash".  He managed to drag the bag under the bed and tear a hole in it and pretty much Spiccoli himself for the next 10 minutes!
Oh yea, it was Peace, Love and Catnip at our place yesterday!  He chased socks, pieces of dust, fairies, and finally crapped out on the stairs after asking for brownies.  :)

Wishing Wednesday!

Aye!  Jaime asked today (happy dance!) What do you wish to enjoy? 

For me, this one was easy because I've been thinking about it for the last 6 months - the beach! My best childhood memories are at the beach with my grandparents.  My seanmathair made ham and cheese sandwiches, we went crabbing (turkey necks are the key), and we would spend hours combing the beach for shells.  I love it and I feel a little "dry" these days.

This year, I'd like to go to Bald Head Islands in the Outer Banks.  (They have blue herons!!!)  I wish to take my daughters there for a week so we can help with the turtle babies, climb the lighthouse, splash through the tidal pools and paint the sunrises and sunsets.  That's my wish!

Be Kind, Rewind

Once again this year, I find myself at a loss.  No one has died, but I'm at a loss for direction.  I got rid of all of this unnecessary crap and now I'm not sure what to do with all of the space, for lack of a better term.  I find myself wanting to stay busy and to fill it up as fast as I can!  And that, I can tell you, never turns out well for me.  I just get more crap!

So, I'm trying to stop, regroup, and take a deep breath.  Does this actually work for anyone??

As summer winds down and school starts for the kids, I'll be more willing to take a bigger breath and look around me.  It's just hard right now, ya know?  Especially with us trying to get everything done in these last couple of weeks of summer.  (The kids are going camping with their dad on Labor Day and to be honest, I'm counting the days!)

Not all is lost, however.  Work is fabulous and I'm enjoying every moment of it.  I'm also cooking like mad.  I made this and this tonight. (the tomatoes came in)  My oldest made huckleberry cheesecake for dinner - yea, it was decadent.  I thought my dad (mom went to visit her sister, dad is alone) was going to die happy right then and there.  LOL  I've also found soap/spa books at the library so I'm combing recipes and gathering guinea pigs.  (I love my guinea pigs)
My big race is next weekend and my achilles heel got sore this last couple of days.  Dammitolanyway!  I really want to run and now I'm sore!  Ack!  I played in the river today and that cold water really helped.  I'm running tomorrow to see how it goes.  Keep your fingers crossed!

Airing Out

Well, I'm not sure what exactly happened the other day, but I decided to air out the skeletons in my closet.  There were too many secrets I was keeping for people - people that I didn't really care about.  Why was I doing that, I asked myself.  So, I said screw it and got rid of it all emotionally.
Talk about taking a load off!!  I ended a couple of relationships that I should have ended a long time ago.  (And in the process, got rid of their skeletons) Actually, it was more like I cut that final dental floss I was hanging on to.  I cried about it on the way to work, but I feel better now.  Lots better.  It's amazing how much more room I have for new shoes in that closet!  :)

I hate to say this, but I'm a little worried that I won't have relationships.  (I know how that sounds, I really do)  I kinda like the attention I got from those relationships.  They were comfortable and I could count on them. 

Oh heavens.....that had to have made a couple of you retch.  Sorry.  I'm going to go run.  And have a cup of coffee.  :)

Okay, I Can Go This Way Too

My evening job has me as a supervisor of cleaning crews, and surprisingly, I enjoy it immensely.  I take care of medical offices and I really like the thought that I am making it safer for everyone who walks in.  It's very strange, I know.   Plus, it's very therapeutic to make things tidy.
One of the oddest things to come out of all of this is the fact that some of the crew are Russian immigrants or the children of Russian immigrants.  Having always been a little fascinated by the Soviets and used-to-be Soviets, I'm kinda thrilled by this.  To help improve work,  I'm working on my Russian language skills.  It's different than my Gaelic, but there are a lot of similarities in structure/masculine/feminine.
  Right now, my every day vocabulary is about as strange as it can be.  (I feel like one of those old Zebra Stripe gum packs!!)  I throw out everything from Spanish to English to Irish gaelic to Scots gaelic to Russian.  Most of my greetings are in Russian.  Most of my swear words are in Gaelic (either) and I use
¿Cómo se dice...?  whenever I can.  (It's such a great phrase)  


So there you have it - weird.  Just like I like it!  :)

Huckleberry Sunday

My children were with their father this weekend, so I called a friend and asked if she wanted to go huckleberry picking until I picked the kids up.  She jumped at the chance, thank goodness.  We headed up early to her 'spot' and started picking. 

Over the years, I've happily forgotten how hard picking huckleberries are!  Ah, but the rewards are completely worth it.  I came home with about a gallon bag full of huckleberries, a handful of thimble berries and some big, big leads on elderberries (about two weeks) for wine.  Also, my beloved nettles are much closer than I thought they were!  There will be soup in the spring!!

Right now, I'm tired, with purple spots on my shorts from having sat on huckleberries sometime this morning..  Happy at seeing my children and having a wonderful day, but still tired.  Bone - tired, as my grandmother used to say. 

Full Moon and Dreamboards

A few weeks ago, I attended an online dreamboard making 'clinic', so to say.  It was Wednesday's Jaime who hosted the whole she-bang and I had a blast!  Jaime is a great hostess and everyone online chimed in.  (Don't you hate it when no one says anything?  It's like a junior high dance!)  I got a great link to a website where I could click pictures to make my own dreamboard - ONLINE! 

How cool is that???

Anyway, so I was madly clicking, downloading my own photos and sharing with everyone I could think of.    Everyone's making dreamboards and there are some really interesting boards that people have put together: weddings, vacations, houses decorating, etc.  If you can think of it, someone has put together (or is in the process of putting together) a board for it.

For me, my dreamboard is whatever caught my eye at the time.  Whatever I coveted, not to put a negative spin on things.  I'm not quite sure exactly what it was supposed to do, but it made me happy to do it and I love looking at it.  And, trust me, I look at it a lot!

And all of you who love the synchronicity deal - the office that I'm cleaning (supervising the crew) is a medical office.  I discovered last night that they had a Breast Cancer Nurse!    Oh yea!  I have a connection to the chemotherapy world! (does that sound as strange to you as it does to me?)  I was so happy I couldn't see straight!! 
This, of course, was after I hit the library and found two of the best soap-making books! Both of which are  sitting next to me right now.  :)

Work and a Free Weekend

I've started working and it's really a lot of fun.  I enjoy helping people and the women I supervise are all hard workers.  It sure makes the job a lot easier when we're all working hard.  :)  I came in on that weird pay period so it's almost three weeks before I get paid.  But, it should be a decent paycheck!  woo woo!

I'm still getting into the groove of work/art/exercise thing.  It's hard not to drop everything and focus on work, especially when I want to make a great impression. I know it makes me lopsided so I try not to do it.  But, I've got the weekend off from work and the kids so I can get back on track and not feel like something is being dropped.

So what to do??  LOL  My garden is coming in like gangbusters, I'd like to get some tomatoes canned or sauce made.  I also need to figure out how to make some basil frozen for future use. Since the girls are out for the weekend, I may use their popsicle maker, but don't tell them.  I'd never hear the end of that!
It's the full moon tomorrow - I believe that there is a moonlight walk being held at one of the local campgrounds.  Always fun.  There is usually one of the local herbalist/forester/wildlife managers there to take you on the walk.  I just have to remember my bug spray.  Smacking myself really diminishes the joy.
And paint!  Four cranes flew over the house yesterday morning, and I'd like to see if I can get that painted.  (I can still see them!)

I do have to ask one question....does anyone notice that they keep painting the same thing over and over again? I keep painting beaches!  Don't know why, but I love them and now I have sheets of beaches.  

I'm Wishing, I'm Wishing......

This Wednesday, Jamie asks 'What Inspiration do you wish to follow? '  Kind of an odd question, to be honest.  I wasn't sure how to answer it at first.  I had a 'huh?' moment. 
So I thought about it.  I have a great job - let's all think great thoughts that it continues for long, long periods of time! - that allows me to have my days free for my passions.  Oh yea...yoga, photography, watercolor classes, running, and most importantly SPA PRODUCTS!!  I wasn't quite sure how to tie all that in to an inspiration that I wished to follow.

Then I realized that I wish to be able to recognize inspiration and the opportunities that come with it.  Often, things pass me by before I realize what they are!  (I hate that)  Now, I want to be able to see what is being offered and be able to jump on it!  I'm ready! 

Chapter 3 and The Western Montana Fair

It's been a great week.  Today, I took my oldest into town to enter her Blondies With a Dye Job Brownies into the Fair.  (She messed up making blondie style brownies one time and they turned out fabulous.  She wanted to enter them into the fair and I jumped on it.)  We were really nervous - still are.  I really hope she gets a ribbon.  We had to enter her into the adult culinary section because there was no kids' brownie division.  (You better believe that I wrote on her entry form that she's only 12 years old!)  We find out tomorrow how she did.

I'm glad that my Recipe Testing is beginning to rub off on the kids.  I've discovered that I enjoy trying recipes that I see on the tv or read about.  Sometimes they rock, sometimes not.  But, it's a great way to be creative and make people happy.  The oldest has always had an interest in cooking and so I'm jumping all over that - she's made crab won tons, ice cream, greek salads, etc.  We decided to take a different meal each time.  Last time she had appetizers.  Next time, it's Breakfast.

What is going on with Blogger????  I had a great big thing on how my morning pages were going great, I was taking myself on dates, and noticing colors everywhere I go.
It was great.  And Blogger ate it!  Damn! 

Anyway, I'm doing well and I'll post more later! 

Wishcrafting Wednesday

Is is wrong to say that I really look forward to Wednesdays?  

This week, Jamie asks, 'What door do you wish to open?' for Wishcrafting Wednesday.  I got up early to check the website out and I'm glad that I did.   It took some thinking/wondering to figure out just what I would like an opportunity at.  (sorry 7th grade english teacher)

And then I remembered this little idea I had years ago. 

But first I have to backtrack and give you some information.  When I was pregnant with my first child, I became allergic to everything.  I swelled up like a tick and it was awful.  So I called my grandmother who got me into an oatmeal bath and got me on the soap/lotion/body spa products path.  I loved it.  I made great stuff. 
But, my packaging sucked.  I have no talent for picking out colors/fonts/etc.  And then when the girls got bigger, I dropped it. 

However, I'd like the door to making spa products open again.  Preferably with an established company so I don't have to deal with packaging and have someone to ask questions.  Also,  I've always wanted to do this little thing  - donate spa products to women going through chemotherapy. 
My mom died of breast cancer when I was little and I remember going to radiation with her.  It made her so sick, her skin so dry, and she just felt unattractive.  I'd like to help other women with that.  Lavender soaps, shea butter lotions, huckleberry lip balms...all in a great little basket/crochetted market bag (yea, I make those too....I love adult learning classes).

So, whew!  that was long, that's my wish.  I wish for the spa door to open!!